Orange and Teal

Joe Theismann A Disgrace To Football Announcers

Former Redskins Super Bowl quarterback and current Monday Night football announcer Joe Theismann called out Ricky Williams as a disgrace to the NFL and the Miami Dolphins. First, I’m just gonna get this out of the way: Drugs are bad. If you can’t give up the weed to make millions you’re a moron. Not really a disgrace, but a moron. However, the real players that are disgraces are the ones that drive drunk, beat their wives, and/or shoot at people.

As for Theismann, he’s one of the worst football announcers out there. ESPN should have considered their crew as one of the reasons no one watched Sunday Night Football. It was painful. Now our Mondays are going to be ruined as well. Madden may be a goof and Favre lover, but at least he’s a character you can stomach. Theismann takes himself too seriously. I’d take either ex-Cowboy Aikman or Johnson over him in a second. And they’re not the best out there, but much better player/announcers than Theismann.

Which brings up another point: Why do we need so many players up in the booth? I feel bad for all the professional mic men out there that never get a shot because they spent their entire adulthood in broadcasting and not in pads.

Spielman Gets Job With Vikings: Miami Citizens Scratch Heads

I almost feel bad for Minnesota Vikings fans. First, they have to come to grips with the fact that they traded their franchise, all-star quarterback for a Miami draft pick and now they’re getting one of the worst personnel men in the NFL who held his last job with that same Miami team.

The Vikings are looking to upgrade from Fran Foley who was fired after the latest draft with only three months under his belt. This reminds me of a job bank of NFL executives that just rotate from one team to another. How does a savvy personnel person move up to one of these vaulted positions? There has to be a talented scout out there somewhere that has more brains than Spielman. Right? Remember, this is the man that inked the infamous A.J. Feely deal.

Well Vikings fans, good luck with Rick. You’re going to need it.

Oh Canada: Ricky Runs To Argonauts

It seems fitting that on Memorial Day I’m blogging about a disgraced American athlete running to Canada to escape the rules and regulations of his native land. Of course we can’t really take football, even Dolphins football, all that seriously. Ricky Williams has already been spotted in Toronto and we wish him luck, and health, in his one-year, $240,000 stint with the Argonauts of the CFL.

At this point I’ve written Ricky off as ever helping the Dolphins again. While he’d be a better back-up than Sammy Morris, he’s not worth the worry. It’s better to spend time thinking about the players actively on our roster, even if they don’t have the talent of Ricky.

Most Significant Free Agent Move

With all the big name moves this off-season (Edge to Arizona, Daunte here etc. etc.) none will sound stranger, yet sweeter, than “Adam Vinatieri Indianapolis Colt.” It’ll be strange watching him kick for the Colts, but without Edge I wonder if they’ll be within a field goal from the Super Bowl this year. And of course it’ll be nice that he’s not on the dreaded Pats.

What We Read

You might wonder why as a former Palm Beach Post employee that I usually link to the Sun-Sentinel for Dolphins coverage. While all three major papers are in my bookmarks I prefer the coverage from the Sun-Sentinel. Although it’s interesting how this story in the Sentinel is so similar to this one in the Post. Both give us that warm all over feeling that Chris Chambers could have a huge year if Culpepper is slinging the ball.

The Sentinel also had a short Q&A with Zach Thomas that’s worth reading. Of course the official Dolphins site allows you to view video of all the players’ press conferences.

I’ve also dropped requests to interview all the Dolphins beat writers for this blog but none have responded in the positive. One even saying the newspaper won’t allow him to take part in another website. Sounds like old school thinking from people that don’t understand the power of links.

Goodbye Derrius: We Won’t Miss You

Talk about a buster. Derrius Thompson was just signed by the New Orleans Saints for a one-year league minimum deal. The Dolphins paid $3.6 million for Thompson after his huge 2002 season with the Redskins. What a monumental bust. 20 or so catches a season. Our WR corps isn’t worse off but still reads like:

Chris Chambers
Marty Booker
Wes Welker
Derek Hagan

And a bunch of no names like Fred Gibson, Cliff Russell, Frank Murphy, Eric Kimble, Jason Willis, Chris Davis, Devin Aromashodu and Kelly Campbell. Think we need help here?

Commissioner Jeb?!

Does everything happen in the state of Florida? Could it be? The Sun-Sentinel ran a bizarrely interesting story on Florida Governor Jeb Bush meeting with Patrick Rooney, Dan Rooney’s brother, recently about the commissioner job. Jeb wouldn’t talk about another position until he’s out of office in January but it’s not that far-fetched. Managing all those owners is an act of politics in itself as well as dealing with municipal governments with stadium deals. Maybe Jeb would make a good fit. It still doesn’t resolve the fact that the guy’s name is Jeb.

Another Awesome Timelapse Video

The Miami Dolphins sure know how to hype a building. No one can get us excited for brick and mortar like the guys in Davie. The latest is a video of the new 96,600 sq ft indoor practice facility. It’s not done yet but it’ll look something like the photo to the right. Otherwise it seems like they’re making progress.

Related: HD Screen Video

Friday Round-Up: Harrington Paid And Happy, Ricky Running To Canada

Even if it is the off-season I like to post more than I have this week. It’s been a bit crazy personally as I’ve been deciding on a new full-time position and catching a number of shows by my favorite band Pearl Jam. But that’s no excuse. Here’s what I’ve neglected.

Joey Harrington is getting paid a guaranteed $3.75 million over two years and he feels good about being here. The second story has some interesting tibits, especially if you’re a Detroit Lions fan. That must be one messed up organization. And Harrington says he’s relearning the footwork and release he had coming out of college that the Lions made him unlearn. That’s interesting.

Ricky Williams wants to play in Canada. Big shock. The guy wants to make some money, stay in shape and reside in a country with lax marijuana laws. Did I say, Big shock?

Ricky’s replacement Ronnie Brown is supposedly bulking back up to playing weight and is ready to carry the load this year. I don’t understand the hesitance of the media to believe he can do it since his playing partner from Auburn is doing OK carrying the ball all by himself in Tampa Bay.

Marcus Vick Now A Dolphin: I Just Threw Up In My Mouth A Little Bit

Nick, I can rehabilitate anybody, Saban has taken the plunge and signed Marcus Vick. You know, the guy that likes to step on players’ legs, elbow coaches, sleep with underage girls and the list goes on. But I guess when you have a little bit of talent it’s all good. Right? He’s being signed as a QB/WR/Specialist.

Sadly, I have to admit there could be worse moves from a skills standpoint. Even if Brock Berlin had two good weeks in Europe, where he could probably have sex with underage girls legally in a red light district, it’s not likely he’s going to find a home on the roster behind Culpepper, Harrington, Justin Holland and Vick. Word is also spreading that the team is not high on Cleo Lemon. That means that 2nd round pick trade for A.J. Feeley continues to be a complete waste.

Let's see if Vick can "injure a building" while getting busted for drugs like our latest good citizen player Keith Traylor. Lovely. Thanks for the tip Tom.